Comprehensive description of narcissism

Malignant NPD Identifiers
Can’t be wrong
Cannot say “I’m so sorry” until you’re leaving.
Self Absorbed
Jealous Possessive
Abandons you at parties: You’re already tagged and bagged.
Pulls out your insecurities as weapons when angry
150% dramatic for better or worse
Keeping up appearances, or “How does it look if I do this, or that?”
It’s debatable: Does a Narcissist self-sacrifice, or go out of their way if no one’s there to see it?
“What’s in it for me?”
It’s a closely-held, childlike Ego. Impossibly fragile, and always encroached: They’re constantly at war in their minds.
Has a running commentary on ‘other drivers’ while flawless in their own minds.
Overly aggressive drivers are either Narcissists looking only for their own way through traffic, or a normal person with intractable diarrhea. Either. Or. Driving ‘selfishly’ could be a bellwether for Narcissism. Or a really, REALLY big clue.
Abandons you at parties
[image: ⭐️] As small kids, disapproval came with the withdrawal of affection and the absence of love. They stopped counting on love. Broke or lost their faith in it.
The worst of them came from extreme poverty or extreme wealth. Either way: NPD’s had HIGHLY *critical* parents even if they were also indulgent.
Clothes are often of premium importance.
“I” or “Me” 90% of words they use, and if they say “you” it’ll be as an instruction or a statement.
A good conversation starter for the NPD is how they’re just KILLIN’ it, at life.
Their kids are just an extension of themselves.
Loved the kids when they could be steered. But. “Dead to me” once acting independently.
Malignant NPD Argument Style
[image: ⭐️] Dismiss.
[image: ⭐️] Downplay.
[image: ⭐️] Distract.
[image: ⭐️] Defend.
[image: ⭐️] Defy.
[image: ⭐️] Devalue.
[image: ⭐️] Destroy.
Malignant Never accept responsibility.
Malignant Never apologize.
“My way or the highway”.
They see the word “uncompromising” as a virtue, and never as a fault.
In the most charitable respect, when you’re around somebody who has NPD, you definitely get the impression that they are very insecure. And the more physically-visible their insecurity is, the easier they are to spot. Example: 45+ Body builders taking testosterone and walking around with their arms out.
Malignant: “It’s not my fault, why did you do it that way?”
Grandiose: “You think that’s cool? Well, I did/met/had/went better…”
“The greatest, worst, always, never” overly dramatic.
(It’s often as if you asked them: (But you didn’t) “Why are you great?”)
NPD’s of all three kinds suffer greater disappointment more dramatically, ‘should on themselves’ and others, have (hidden) low self-esteem and high insecurity levels.
[image: ⭐️] Malignant NPDs disrespect their spouse because there is something wrong with anyone who submits to them, or loves them. “They must be stupid”.
[image: ⭐️] Malignant NPD can be heard to say “Good luck finding someone as good as me!” Or “No one will want you.”
[image: ⭐️] Malignant and Grandiose NPD’s are OFTEN exhausting to handle.
Malignant and Grandiose NPD’s often seem like they need to be supervised because they often do what they want, when they want to, like ten year-olds.
[image: ⭐️] When anxious, (crowds or when they might do something wrong in front of people) they may run an ongoing verbal narrative about how everybody else is doing/driving/going it wrong. “People are so stupid”.
A lot of Malignant and Grandiose NPD’s value having a dramatic breed of dog. Huge, rare, expensive, vicious, always something better than everyone else’s. But also, the dog represents them. Like their spouse and kids do.
NPD’s are hard, intolerant parents.
[image: ⭐️] Malignant NPD’s are controlling, intolerant spouses.